Bait
by The Once Caged Bird
Summary: It all started with a friendly tennis match. "Wow, and I thought nothing could top Mary Poppins dueling a 40-foot Voldemort," Tony muttered with grudging respect. Four Avengers. Three Olympic categories. And one mission gone horribly, horribly wrong.


**A/N: A drabble thingy that I've had mostly done for a while now. Might become longer? Number 5 in the Avengers Misadventures. Prompt: BAIT. I enjoyed getting to make up trash talk for this more than I probably should have...**

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Main Characters: Tony, Clint, Natasha, & Thor

Theme: General/Humor

Pairings: N/A

Rating: PG-ish

5. Bait Pt. 1

"So," Tony called across the net, tossing the ball into the air and catching it again deftly, "Ready to get served?" On the other side of the court, Natasha rolled her eyes.

"That is the most cliché thing I've ever heard come from your mouth. You're losing your touch Tony," the Russian called back, swinging her racket to and fro to loosen up the muscles in her arms in back. She sent a brief wave to Clint in the bleachers.

"I've spent the past seventy-two hours in the lab, so sue me," Tony retorted. Natasha smiled.

"Is that an invitation?"

"Honey, you couldn't spend that much money in ten lifetimes, or however long you Russians live. Now are we going to do this thing or what?" The spy grinned and gestured grandly for Tony to go ahead and serve.

And the tennis match began with a powerful strike that sent the ball skimming just inches over the net. Natasha sprinted to the right and backhanded it towards the far corner, and Tony only barely managed to pop it before it went out of bounds. A rhythm formed between the two, with neither gaining the upper hand for several passes. Then Natasha pushed hard off her right foot, which she had twisted only a couple days before, and the jolt of pain caused her to miss a shot to her left by half a second, giving Tony the first point.

Refusing to limp, she reset and they resumed the game.

In the bleachers, Clint was joined by Thor, who had never seen a tennis match before. Clint explained how the point system worked and Thor picked up the rest fairly quickly. They watched in silence for a few minutes, with only the occasional whoop for particularly stunning moves, before Thor said idly:

"It was my understanding that these sort of games played between friends were meant for enjoyment." He nodded to where the two on the court faced each other with fierce expressions and little talk. "Those two do not appear to be having fun." Clint was frankly surprised the Asgardian had noticed. Though he probably shouldn't be; they'd had to remind Thor many times not to take the games they all played too seriously. The thunderer was a very competitive god, they'd found out, and it had taken a little while for him to simply enjoy the odd pick-up game around the Tower.

"You'd be right, actually," Clint replied, watching as Natasha struck the ball viciously over the net, scoring a point on the billionaire. "Natasha is practicing for a mission at the Olympics, and since Tony was a tennis champ back in college he offered to help her train." Clint left out the part where the "offer" stemmed more from blackmail than charity. After all, it was a bit difficult to pry Tony from his lab at times.

"Olympics?" Thor said in confusion, "Were not those the ancient games of the Greeks? I was not aware that they were still practiced today." Clint canted his head at the thunder god, wondering…

"You ever see them? The original Olympics I mean?" Thor grinned.

"Yes, several times. I once met with Hercules in the games themselves, though we accidentally destroyed the arena and thus all evidence of our fight but for the stories they told afterwards." Clint blinked a few times before he shook his head, deciding not to ask right now. He was pretty sure he'd need at least a six-pack of Budweiser for that one.

"Well, the games today are a lot different from the old ones… for instance, no one dies anymore," Clint explained. "And anyone in the world can compete. Nat's going undercover as a Bosnian tennis star by the name of Nadina. Apparently one of the other girls on the team is going to be kidnapped and Nat needs to be there to follow the guys that are going to do it. They're part of some drug ring or something, I'm not sure. Nat didn't fill me in on the particulars." Thor frowned and looked like he wanted to object to the underhandedness involved in Natasha's mission when the spy herself called them from the court.

"Hey guys, I need to practice in teams too, you two up for it?" Clint and Thor looked at each other in tandem and shrugged, rising from the bleachers to join Tony and Natasha on the ground. They gathered round to decide on teams and get a drink of water.

Tony's t-shirt was plastered to him in sweat, and he was breathing hard, but apparently their score was nearly even. Natasha wasn't in near as bad a condition as he was, but her ankle was really starting to smart. She made a mental note to ice it later as she joined the other three with her water bottle in hand. She glanced at Clint, who was dressed in shorts, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt. He'd played a little tennis with her before, and he wasn't bad from what she remembered. That was probably due to his experience with a variety weapons and his incredible aim, but it would be helpful nonetheless. She glanced at Thor and saw he too was wearing a t-shirt, though he was clad in his long pants and boots. She hoped they were okay for sprinting in.

"You know the rules, thunder clap?" Tony asked, still a little breathless. Thor nodded.

"Clint explained your rules to me, though I assume they will be somewhat different where teams are involved?"

Tony grinned, "Not by much. Mostly you just try not to hit each other. It's your first time, we won't hold you to them. As long as you don't hit me. Much as Pepper would appreciate the life insurance money, I think she might actually miss me." Thor chuckled and Tony laughed, smacking the thunder god on the shoulder and handing him a spare racket and a ball.

"You and me, Thor, whatcha say? Team god complex versus team spook?" Tony stage whispered up to Thor. The Asgardian put on his best superior face and nodded regally. Clint, on the other hand, had to laugh.

"Yeah, between the guy who's never played before and the iron man without the iron, I can see we're beat. Tasha, we should just surrender no-" he was cut off when something too fast to see flashed past his ear and _through _the chain link fence behind him. Thor swung his racket innocently, but Clint noted that his ball was gone. Tony was cackling.

"See, I found out not too long ago that our resident god not only has enough power in his pinky finger to level this planet, but he also happens to have enough knowledge of physics and trajectory to qualify him as a master in every area of fighting and gaming there is. Combined with my skills, you my friend _are _beat." Clint smirked, cracking his knuckles. If that was how they wanted to play…

"Fair enough," he conceded. "May the best spook win then."

Then they all shook hands and assumed their positions. Natasha in front of the net with Clint behind, and Tony facing Natasha with Thor behind. Clint was serving.

His racket whacked the ball hard, sending it zooming past Tony's head and towards Thor's open side, right where he'd aimed it. The archer smiled; Thor wasn't the only expert in trajectory on the team. He and Natasha were among the greatest marksmen in the world, and they aimed bullets, not hammers.

The ball bounced once, and looked like it was about to make a point, but then Thor was there, rebounding it back. Unfortunately his rebound sent the ball not just over the net, but completely out of the court. Clint kept the look of victory off his face as best as possible as Natasha pulled a ball from the strap on her thigh and tossed it to him. But he couldn't resist calling out:

"Maybe you guys would have a chance if we were playing across states instead!"

Tony snorted indignantly and made to reply but Thor beat him to it.

"Merely an adjustment of power is needed, puny mortal!" he returned, twirling his racket with ease. "I will simply bring myself down to _your_ level!" The implication that Clint could never boost himself up to Thor's level went unsaid, but the challenge was heard anyway and Thor's smug grin just rubbed it in deeper. Clint set his jaw and nodded to his partner, letting her know in a glance that this was now serious. The honor of mankind was on the line after all, though Clint neatly forgot that Tony was also human.

With a loud grunt, Clint tossed the ball up in the air and struck it for all he was worth just inches to the left of Tony's foot. So close and so fast that it would take an extremely skilled player to react fast enough to catch it.

Tony was one such player, and managed to pop it back over the net past Natasha's ear. Clint dove forward, barely clipping the ball with enough force to return it over the net. It went over Tony's head and Thor stepped up to whack the ball, driving it back towards Clint before the archer could recover from his near face-plant. It hit just inside the line and Tony let out a whoop for team god complex. However, his victory prance was rudely interrupted Clint, who reset and served without wasting a second. Neither Tony nor Thor was able to reach the little blur of neon green in time and the score evened out. As they faced off through the net, Tony and Natasha shared a taunting glare.

"Have I told you how fabulous that skirt looks on you Miss Romanoff?"

"Careful Mr. Stark, that's harassment."

"Only of the sincerest kind, _moy dorogoy."_

Natasha smiled sweetly. And when the ball bounced her way a second later, she nailed him right between the eyes.

The game went on, trash talk and heckling being thrown over the net as often as the ball. When Clint baited Tony with, "_I thought we were playing tennis, not badminton_!" Natasha just about lost it with laughter. But when Tony didn't miss a beat and called out "_I'm sorry, which of us here uses feathery projectiles?" _Natasha ended up having to call a timeout to regain her composure. Which was promptly spoiled when they restarted with Tony serving and he yelled, "_Incoming shuttlecock for the cock-eyed wonder!"_

A very long recess was needed after that particular exchange.

They played into the evening before calling a unanimous stop to the game. Nobody had kept score after the first couple of matches, so they _magnanimously_ agreed to called it a draw.

Or rather, Steve stepped in and used the I Am Captain America Voice after listening to their name-calling for over half an hour.

After showers, dinner, and the promised pack of Budweiser's, they somehow found each other again in one of the big living rooms. Tony was trying to get mission details out of Natasha as they strolled into the room. Meanwhile, Clint and Thor were sprawled on two of the couches, sipping their libations as the archer prompted Thor to tell him about the original Olympics. Natasha overheard this as they approached and, sending Tony an unapologetic look, abandoned him and his line of questioning in favor of hearing Thor's stories. Tony might have been offended if that wasn't basically Natasha's M.O. and Thor's storytelling voice wasn't so damn awesome.

Clint glanced up from his spot on the couch as Natasha wobbled almost imperceptibly when she took her seat at the end of his couch. He quirked an eyebrow at her, silently asking if she was alright, to which she responded with a roll of her eyes and a pointed shake of the ice pack she was carrying. Clint smiled and shrugged as if to say he couldn't help but worry about her.

Natasha wrapped her ankle and listened to Tony explain the concept of a high five to the thunder god while Clint gave his input on fist-bumps. Thor shrugged and said it was not so dissimilar from their way of congratulatory expressions. Tony tried to make a smartass comment about headbutts being a common form of greeting on Asgard when Thor clapped him on the back in mock companionship, nearly acquainting the billionaire with his lush carpet. Thor's too innocent apologies had the spies snickering even more than Tony's complaints.

Eventually they got around to hearing about the Olympics, which were extraordinary to hear Thor describe them. He was also curious about the current version of the games, so the other three took it upon themselves to explain the changes (which were quite extensive). Afterwards, comparisons and stories were traded casually even as their yawns became more frequent.

The night finally ended with Tony declaring that he was going to start working on a time machine, Clint wishing he could have seen _mother_ _bleeping Apollo_ in action, and Natasha feeling vaguely as if she had been gypped by modern day sports. At least, Thor said, the likelihood of her demise was much lower. Then he gave her a stern look and asked her to take care of herself in these games. Natasha muttered something about Clint's influence rubbing off before nodding her agreement and heading to bed.

She didn't notice Clint quietly talking to the thunderer in the living room or their shared grins.

Had she done so, she would have immediately known that the Olympics were about to get a _lot _more interesting.

The end?

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**End A/N and extra messages and whatnot**

**Not sure if I plan to do a part 2 to this or not. I had a vague idea in mind when I started it, but that was like a year ago (along with the rest of my writing omg). Ahem.**

**Some fun facts though! **

**One of my really good friends inspired this one, as she is an amazing tennis player from Bosnia by the name of Nadina! I owe any tennis knowledge I have to her (though I admit my knowledge is far from complete)**

**Moy Dorogoy (according to the ever faulty google translate) means "my dear" or "my darling" in Russian. And it would look like this - мой дорогой**

**A shuttlecock is the name of the badminton ball/feather thing, in case anyone was wondering about that.**

**And my playing style would be very much like Thor's first attempt.**

**Also, there will be cookies and rewards for anyone who can pick out the comic references XD**

**R&R!**


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